Expert Pavement Inspector
Some skateboarders land tricks. You collect firsthand data on municipal infrastructure. With your entire body.
Our Expert Pavement Inspector tee features a thoroughly unimpressed skater sitting beside a snapped skateboard, with bold navy lettering that turns an embarrassing afternoon into a respectable job title. You didn’t wipe out. You conducted an unscheduled surface assessment.
Perfect for skateboarders, former skatepark legends, and anyone whose “Watch this” has ever been followed by a concerned silence. Your technique is questionable. Your knowledge of what concrete feels like is extensively documented.
Wear it to skatepark sessions, skate-shop runs, or the next gathering where someone asks why you’re walking like that. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who owns twelve skate videos and appears to have learned exclusively from the outtakes.
“Did you land it?” Absolutely. The ground and I made full contact. If you have additional criteria, you should have mentioned them earlier.
The board is broken. The audience is pretending not to laugh. And your buddy is reviewing the footage with the professional urgency of someone who absolutely will be posting it.
Add to cart. Your skating career may be on hold, but your inspection credentials have never been stronger.
SnarkySarks. Failed tricks. Groundbreaking research.
The "You Actually Look Good" Fabric
We might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:
Ash and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Athletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Heather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.
Engineered to Survive Your Apathy
We built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.
Shape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.
Structural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.
Anti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.
Flattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.
Versatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.
Prints that Do the Talking
Our soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.
Surprisingly Ethical
We might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.
Sourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.
Responsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.
Certifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.
General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.
