Shipping policy

Free shipping on orders over $74.99.
Spend $75. Save on shipping. Wear something snarky. Everybody wins.

Order Processing
1–3 business days to process your order. Could be longer when things get busy, because we're popular and we're not going to apologize for that.

Shipping & Delivery
3–5 business days from shipment to doorstep. Exact timing depends on where you are and what you picked at checkout. We ship it. The carrier takes it from there. It's a whole system.

Order Updates
Tracking info hits your inbox the moment your order ships. Follow along. We know you will.

Secure Checkout
Encrypted. Secure. We're not storing your card details in a spreadsheet somewhere. This is a real operation.

Fair warning: delivery estimates are not guarantees. Delays happen. Carriers, weather, cosmic interference — not our jurisdiction. We'll always do our part. The rest is out of our hands, and we're being upfront about that because that's just who we are.