Try, Fail, Send a 5-Page Apology Email
Everyone makes mistakes. Some of us follow ours with an executive summary, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion that somehow makes things worse.
Our Try, Fail, Send a 5-Page Apology Email tee features a white flowchart outlining your proven professional process: TRY → FAIL SPECTACULARLY → DRAFT A 5-PAGE APOLOGY EMAIL → REPEAT. Finally, a career development plan with realistic expectations and absolutely no upward movement.
Perfect for office survivors, chronic overthinkers, recovering people-pleasers, and anyone who’s ever spent forty-five minutes choosing between “Sorry for the confusion” and “I take full responsibility” after attaching the wrong PDF. The mistake took four seconds. Your written confession now has chapters.
Wear it to casual Fridays, coffee runs, or team meetings where someone says, “Let’s treat this as a learning opportunity.” It also makes an excellent gift for that coworker whose apology emails require a lunch break and a bookmark.
“Could you keep it brief?” Absolutely. Please see the attached document titled A Little Context—FINAL_v7_REALLYFINAL.docx.
The flowchart has no exit. The apology has no word limit. And the person you sent it to just replied “No worries,” casually invalidating the entire afternoon you spent drafting your resignation from human competence.
Add to cart. You can’t undo that reply-all, but you can dress for the aftermath.
SnarkySarks. Mistakes happen. Yours come with a table of contents.
The "You Actually Look Good" Fabric
We might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:
Ash and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Athletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Heather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.
Engineered to Survive Your Apathy
We built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.
Shape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.
Structural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.
Anti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.
Flattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.
Versatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.
Prints that Do the Talking
Our soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.
Surprisingly Ethical
We might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.
Sourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.
Responsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.
Certifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.
General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.
