Sarcasm (Because Beating People Up Is Illegal)
Some people count to ten. You deliver a sentence so dry it requires its own fire warning.
Our Sarcasm (Because Beating People Up Is Illegal) tee features bold, stacked white lettering explaining your ongoing commitment to handling nonsense verbally. Consider it a celebration of restraint—with excellent timing and absolutely no promise of politeness.
Perfect for sarcastic coworkers, brutally honest friends, and anyone whose “Wow, that’s a great idea” has never once been mistaken for encouragement. You’ve tried taking the high road. Unfortunately, people keep stopping in the middle of it to explain things you already know.
Wear it to casual Fridays, family gatherings, or errands where someone inevitably tests the customer-service voice you weren’t being paid to use. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose raised eyebrow needs subtitles—and occasionally a mediator.
“Was that sarcasm?” No, I’m genuinely thrilled you scheduled a meeting to read an email to people who can read.
You’ve kept your hands to yourself. You’ve lowered your voice. You’ve even smiled. If someone still walks away feeling professionally roasted, perhaps they should appreciate how many other options you ruled out.
Add to cart. Your patience may be gone, but your delivery is impeccable.
SnarkySarks. Hands to ourselves. Remarks to everyone.
The "You Actually Look Good" Fabric
We might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:
Ash and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Athletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Heather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.
Engineered to Survive Your Apathy
We built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.
Shape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.
Structural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.
Anti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.
Flattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.
Versatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.
Prints that Do the Talking
Our soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.
Surprisingly Ethical
We might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.
Sourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.
Responsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.
Certifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.
General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.
