My Neighbors Suck. Let's Move.
The realtor said “quiet neighborhood.” Apparently, that meant between the leaf blower’s second shift and whatever Gary is building at midnight.
Our My Neighbors Suck. Let's Move. tee features a colorful retro telescope scanning a planet-filled sky, with a yellow comic-style burst announcing the problem and bold red lettering proposing the solution. You’ve checked nearby listings. It’s time to expand the search radius by several light-years.
Perfect for astronomy lovers, introverts, and anyone who’s ever made eye contact with a neighbor and accidentally lost forty minutes of their life beside a trash can. You wanted a place to live. Somehow, you also acquired front-row seats to someone else’s speakerphone conversations.
Wear it to stargazing nights, weekend errands, or neighborhood cookouts where you’d like your absence from future events explained in advance. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose dream home includes acreage, a moat, and no visible evidence of other people.
“Wouldn’t you miss having neighbors?” Absolutely. I’d also miss car alarms, but I’m willing to make sacrifices.
The telescope is ready. The planets look promising. Sure, Saturn has violent storms and nowhere convenient to park, but nobody there has asked you to join the neighborhood Facebook group. That alone puts it ahead of your current situation.
Add to cart. Finding another habitable planet takes time. Let everyone know you’re actively looking.
SnarkySarks. Love the house. Considering another solar system.
The "You Actually Look Good" Fabric
We might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:
Ash and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.
Athletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
Heather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.
Engineered to Survive Your Apathy
We built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.
Shape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.
Structural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.
Anti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.
Flattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.
Versatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.
Prints that Do the Talking
Our soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.
Surprisingly Ethical
We might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.
Sourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.
Responsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.
Certifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.
General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.
