{"product_id":"match-summary-0-satisfaction","title":"Match Summary -- 0% Satisfaction T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMatch Summary -- 0% Satisfaction\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNinety minutes. Zero goals. You could’ve watched your washing machine and at least seen someone come out with a clean sheet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMatch Summary -- 0% Satisfaction\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features white receipt-style lettering and a barcode documenting the beautiful game’s least convincing sales pitch: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“RUNNING: 90 MINS \/ GOALS: 0 \/ RESULT: DRAW \/ CUSTOMER SATISFACTION: 0%.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Finally, a post-match analysis that doesn’t require three retired players and a touchscreen.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for sarcastic soccer fans, long-suffering supporters, and anyone who’s ever cleared their entire afternoon to watch twenty-two millionaires collectively fail to complete one task. The possession was impressive. Unfortunately, you cannot celebrate possession by throwing your drink in the air.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to match days, sports bars, or the postgame discussion where someone insists it was “a fascinating tactical battle.” It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who keeps promising you the next match will explain why they love this sport.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Did you see that movement off the ball?” Yes. I also saw no movement on the scoreboard. One of those feels more relevant.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe barcode is there in case you’d like to return the experience. Unfortunately, your afternoon is nonrefundable, and customer service has awarded four additional minutes of disappointment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Somebody should leave this match with something.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Full time. No payoff.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":46141296574660,"sku":"15260537909261257234","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Forest","offer_id":46226081546436,"sku":"23054621305063646341","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226081579204,"sku":"24555211859188273673","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226081611972,"sku":"20355827892971085947","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Mint","offer_id":46226081644740,"sku":"19296545018214725474","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":46226081677508,"sku":"13002941207843301233","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226081710276,"sku":"31587824406566590653","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226081743044,"sku":"82010049837192543497","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46226081775812,"sku":"11206621306078384317","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226081808580,"sku":"44713520870440185292","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":46226081841348,"sku":"33089436642093167511","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Forest","offer_id":46226081874116,"sku":"18925806292039801825","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226081906884,"sku":"29460746796005319252","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226081939652,"sku":"33331450149445011578","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Mint","offer_id":46226081972420,"sku":"17149466804729579606","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":46226082005188,"sku":"20818363033297013751","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226082037956,"sku":"74976087119025013476","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226082070724,"sku":"33929664686854971201","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":46226082103492,"sku":"20252911092552795985","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226082169028,"sku":"43942809030896046225","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":46226082201796,"sku":"70648093003988273844","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Forest","offer_id":46226082234564,"sku":"23976822294135300297","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226082267332,"sku":"27569214531401384547","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226082300100,"sku":"32461937477272423624","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Mint","offer_id":46226082332868,"sku":"12320695489911426391","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":46226082365636,"sku":"12340472204019220008","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226082398404,"sku":"89917040499191064059","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226082431172,"sku":"72775565745621449923","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":46226082463940,"sku":"23595334029454686095","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226082529476,"sku":"22506543778157827231","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":46226082562244,"sku":"33488309716677165271","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Forest","offer_id":46226082595012,"sku":"32102533185290782628","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226082627780,"sku":"74270604287812536972","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226082660548,"sku":"20974903068577033956","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mint","offer_id":46226082693316,"sku":"13610264219441686354","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":46226082726084,"sku":"13220450005073077378","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226082758852,"sku":"31004890700995859303","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226082791620,"sku":"13441384900418909085","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":46226082824388,"sku":"24192497555029960407","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226082889924,"sku":"33017480601533062471","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":46226082922692,"sku":"50392815912813774299","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Forest","offer_id":46226082955460,"sku":"73374085602700725256","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226082988228,"sku":"19338318017443936666","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226083020996,"sku":"26818398828938615856","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mint","offer_id":46226083053764,"sku":"62871437736849019851","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46226083086532,"sku":"22965706973331063551","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226083119300,"sku":"56773956917413492760","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226083152068,"sku":"33474858844445696501","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":46226083184836,"sku":"14722549937539820223","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226083250372,"sku":"41693713429474676935","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":46226083283140,"sku":"26614287939328289140","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Forest","offer_id":46226083315908,"sku":"28943277018400175693","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226083348676,"sku":"55145668715037799478","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226083381444,"sku":"34605483050327086859","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Mint","offer_id":46226083414212,"sku":"23633132127586095165","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46226083446980,"sku":"59517892090732711553","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226083479748,"sku":"26734828081124716754","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226083512516,"sku":"23919781446131896653","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":46226083545284,"sku":"51595258609031206297","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226083610820,"sku":"17886002563020150415","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":46226083643588,"sku":"28902162877690286375","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Forest","offer_id":46226083676356,"sku":"17497982795786999328","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226083709124,"sku":"28176802334410506606","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226083741892,"sku":"65076241600655791958","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Mint","offer_id":46226083774660,"sku":"25129388854512566276","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46226083807428,"sku":"12926038142092323848","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226083840196,"sku":"28694196554861401529","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226083872964,"sku":"27304415727721178010","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":46226083905732,"sku":"84797311709724928486","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226083971268,"sku":"82049146731168551495","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":46226084004036,"sku":"29668469957187470125","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Forest","offer_id":46226084036804,"sku":"24783907521141151642","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Heather Forest","offer_id":46226084069572,"sku":"74317355544871902648","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46226084102340,"sku":"25744506937760898822","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Mint","offer_id":46226084135108,"sku":"15475475325472768494","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46226084167876,"sku":"19102610168603732552","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46226084200644,"sku":"24737884286223325144","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46226084233412,"sku":"19706488712669313880","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":46226084266180,"sku":"28872149839170708345","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46226084331716,"sku":"91409213999348976261","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":46226084364484,"sku":"66630829353814208039","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46226084397252,"sku":"27644321945369475005","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":46226084430020,"sku":"28371418757246076968","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupMatchSummary--0_SatisfactionHeatherForest.png?v=1789755505","url":"https:\/\/www.snarkysarks.com\/products\/match-summary-0-satisfaction","provider":"Snarky Sarks LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}