{"title":"For Introverts","description":"\u003cp\u003eSarcastic shirts for introverts. Social battery not included.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"my-neighbors-suck-lets-move","title":"My Neighbors Suck. Let's Move. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMy Neighbors Suck. Let's Move.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe realtor said “quiet neighborhood.” Apparently, that meant between the leaf blower’s second shift and whatever Gary is building at midnight.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMy Neighbors Suck. Let's Move.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a colorful retro telescope scanning a planet-filled sky, with a yellow comic-style burst announcing the problem and bold red lettering proposing the solution. You’ve checked nearby listings. It’s time to expand the search radius by several light-years.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for astronomy lovers, introverts, and anyone who’s ever made eye contact with a neighbor and accidentally lost forty minutes of their life beside a trash can. You wanted a place to live. Somehow, you also acquired front-row seats to someone else’s speakerphone conversations.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to stargazing nights, weekend errands, or neighborhood cookouts where you’d like your absence from future events explained in advance. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose dream home includes acreage, a moat, and no visible evidence of other people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Wouldn’t you miss having neighbors?” Absolutely. I’d also miss car alarms, but I’m willing to make sacrifices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe telescope is ready. The planets look promising. Sure, Saturn has violent storms and nowhere convenient to park, but nobody there has asked you to join the neighborhood Facebook group. That alone puts it ahead of your current situation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Finding another habitable planet takes time. Let everyone know you’re actively looking.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Love the house. Considering another solar system.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":46107039596740,"sku":"63972295597253204625","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":46227788071108,"sku":"16846961584626567634","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Deep Teal","offer_id":46227788103876,"sku":"23335402202638066848","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Forest","offer_id":46227788136644,"sku":"65621138402198145451","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":46227788169412,"sku":"20647629715528825025","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46227788202180,"sku":"25028983817559551975","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ 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Black","offer_id":46227789611204,"sku":"17471483495671574112","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46227789643972,"sku":"70961272863342605676","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupMyNeighborsSuck.Let_sMoveBlack.png?v=1789762458"},{"product_id":"im-an-introvert-go-away","title":"I'm an Introvert. Go Away. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI'm an Introvert. Go Away.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen one door closes, please resist the urge to knock. That was the whole point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI'm an Introvert. Go Away.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a firmly closed wooden door surrounded by warm orange and cool blue watercolor-style splashes, with bold orange lettering handling visitor relations. Beautiful colors. Clear instructions. Absolutely no invitation to come inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, homebodies, and anyone who hears the doorbell and immediately begins living like a fugitive in their own house. You’re home. Your car is outside. Your lights are on. None of this constitutes an appointment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to grocery runs, bookstore visits, or social gatherings where you’d prefer your exit strategy printed directly on your torso. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose favorite party memory is the text announcing it was canceled.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Come out of your shell!” I furnished this shell. There are snacks in here. Why would I leave?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe door has no posted business hours because there is no business. You’re not accepting visitors, spontaneous adventures, or anyone who says, “I just thought I’d stop by.” Fascinating thought. Next time, let it pass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Saying “go away” to everyone individually is far too much social interaction.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Closed door. Open snacks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not 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You’ve got nothing against humanity as a concept. It’s the in-person demonstrations that keep disappointing you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to grocery-store runs, crowded gatherings, or office events where “attendance is optional” somehow comes with a supervisor checking names. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who can spot someone they know across a parking lot and immediately discover a different entrance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Are you always this antisocial?” Please take a number. We’re currently serving nobody, and we intend to maintain that pace.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe eagle looks exhausted because it’s already heard about your side hustle, your parking situation, and how you “just have a quick question.” Even a national symbol has limits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Your personal space deserves a department with a very firm return policy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Public service. Private disgust.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46145555660996,"sku":"78658196175155399373","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Mint","offer_id":46217844621508,"sku":"91298792421343075131","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Natural","offer_id":46217844654276,"sku":"11565357389860419113","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46217844687044,"sku":"80084010787746297782","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46217844719812,"sku":"19402157852587096758","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":46217844752580,"sku":"28962308275196096754","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic 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Your application to stand this close has been denied.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDepartment of Social Distancing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a distinguished eagle inside a distressed green-and-gold official-style seal, complete with \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“6 FEET”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“EST. 2020.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Finally, your desire to be left alone has a department, a founding date, and a bird that looks prepared to enforce policy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, personal-space enthusiasts, and anyone who believes a conversation can happen perfectly well from several steps farther away. You’re not being unfriendly. You’re maintaining federally imaginary standards.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to grocery stores, crowded gatherings, or family reunions where someone insists on greeting you with their entire body. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who considers an empty elevator a luxury travel experience.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“But I’m a hugger!” Wonderful. The department encourages you to pursue that passion in another jurisdiction.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur office handles unsolicited small talk, excessive proximity, and people who stand directly behind you in line as though physically merging will make the cashier scan faster. Complaints may be submitted in writing. Preferably from home.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Give your boundaries the completely unearned authority of an official-looking seal.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Protecting your peace. Denying visitor permits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not 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If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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You can’t always control the ball, but you can absolutely control whether you come back next Saturday.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Strong serve. Stronger objections.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not 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If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Kelly","offer_id":46149010096324,"sku":"35915358404471525940","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46212090724548,"sku":"33745404824475486645","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Pink","offer_id":46212090757316,"sku":"12417087326444659099","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46212090790084,"sku":"22658960932478062372","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sage","offer_id":46212090822852,"sku":"23132743851051938236","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":46212090855620,"sku":"57590461353422236172","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic 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You have signage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProudly Unapproachable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a cream-and-deep-red diamond warning sign with a little cactus—nature’s way of saying, “You could touch me, but let’s think this through.” It’s a public service announcement for anyone mistaking your proximity for availability.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, professional boundary setters, and anyone who’s ever made eye contact with a stranger and immediately regretted opening negotiations. You’re happy to exchange pleasantries. Specifically, “Goodbye.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to coffee runs, casual Fridays, or family gatherings where someone insists you need to “come out of your shell.” You’ve furnished the shell. There are snacks in the shell. The shell is not accepting visitors.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose entire personality changes when the doorbell rings. Wonderful person. Terrible walk-in policy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLike a cactus, you thrive with plenty of space and very little attention. Unlike a cactus, you’ve had to explain this repeatedly to coworkers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Give people fair warning before they ask why you’re so quiet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Admire from a distance. Preferably a greater one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":46151894761668,"sku":"14120661863021772016","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Forest","offer_id":46211681452228,"sku":"70925239031555848443","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46211681484996,"sku":"29203151158558556955","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46211681517764,"sku":"22389260592983829943","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46211681550532,"sku":"17534624757233426766","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46211681583300,"sku":"12278756091782812649","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ 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The last person who said “You look like you could use some company” received a detailed explanation of why they were wrong.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSocial Interaction Not Recommended\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a bold orange \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCAUTION\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e header, a crossed-out person symbol, and the unmistakable look of workplace safety signage. Finally, your social battery has an appropriate warning label.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, exhausted employees, and anyone who’s ever taken the long way through a grocery store to avoid a three-minute conversation. You’re perfectly capable of being friendly. You’d just prefer people stop testing that capability without an appointment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to casual Fridays, crowded errands, or family gatherings where “Why are you so quiet?” somehow passes for a conversation starter. You were enjoying the silence, Brenda. It was a group activity until you ruined it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt also makes an excellent gift for that friend who considers self-checkout the greatest advancement in human civilization.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. You’ve tried headphones. You’ve tried avoiding eye contact. It’s time for official signage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Clearly labeled. Still approached.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46158515830980,"sku":"18906171723440726478","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46209698136260,"sku":"45850618132508398263","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46209698169028,"sku":"52358325321564356552","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sage","offer_id":46209698201796,"sku":"43825192625907089651","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":46209698234564,"sku":"76322247167213553452","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46209698267332,"sku":"30869680605173373263","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light 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White","offer_id":46209699905732,"sku":"17826558073027160767","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupSocialInteractionNotRecommendedLightBlue.png?v=1789573604"},{"product_id":"take-a-hike-people-suck","title":"Take a Hike...People Suck T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTake a Hike...People Suck\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNothing says “I need some space” like strapping snacks to your back and walking six miles away from everyone’s opinions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTake a Hike...People Suck\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a backpacking hiker, rugged mountain peaks, and bold black-and-teal lettering that explains your fitness motivation with 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You’re willing to climb an entire mountain to avoid a conversation. That’s commitment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for sarcastic hikers, wilderness-loving introverts, and anyone who’s noticed that trees rarely interrupt to tell you how busy they are. Fresh air is nice. Scenic views are lovely. But the real attraction? Nobody out here asking you to “circle back.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it on trail days, camping weekends, or at family gatherings as a helpful preview of your exit strategy. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who considers “no cell service” an amenity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSure, the trail has bugs, mud, and exhausting uphill stretches. Still fewer complaints than the break room.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Get your steps in and your people out.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Higher altitude. Lower tolerance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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Please Try Again Never. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUnavailable. Please Try Again Never.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThank you for your interest in my time. Unfortunately, all openings have been permanently filled by things I’d rather be doing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUnavailable. Please Try Again Never.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a bold red, black, and white hanging-sign design that gives your social availability the clarity it deserves. No confusing hints. No “maybe next weekend.” Just excellent signage and a deeply unhelpful return date.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, exhausted employees, and anyone who’s ever watched their phone ring like it was a problem for another department. Your schedule may be empty, but that doesn’t mean it’s available. Doing nothing is an appointment, and you intend to keep it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to discourage small talk, additional responsibilities, or anyone approaching with “Got a quick minute?” It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose favorite notification is “Plans canceled.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. The shirt is available. You remain a firm no.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Thank you for reaching out. Please stop.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003e\"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46160885579972,"sku":"32130775283322186724","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46209329791172,"sku":"26240527340791429888","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46209329823940,"sku":"79101861634433204962","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sage","offer_id":46209329856708,"sku":"17729402896008132220","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":46209329889476,"sku":"31463362514939626307","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46209329922244,"sku":"31461202967809907065","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light 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White","offer_id":46209331560644,"sku":"15900486700306653406","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupUnavailable.PleaseTryAgainNever.SandDune.png?v=1789162069"},{"product_id":"you-are-in-my-bubble","title":"You Are in My Bubble T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou Are in my bubble\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you can read this, congratulations. You’ve located the problem. It’s your proximity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou Are in my bubble\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a bold yellow warning triangle, a raised-hand figure, and one beautifully straightforward message: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE IN MY BUBBLE.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because apparently backing away slowly and looking deeply uncomfortable wasn’t clear enough.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for introverts, grocery-store line survivors, and anyone whose coworker believes a conversation requires sharing the same oxygen molecule. Consider it your personal-space policy, now conveniently posted on your torso.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to crowded events, family gatherings, or anywhere someone might mistake eye contact for an invitation to stand six inches from your face. It also makes an excellent gift for your favorite people-avoider. Leave it on their porch. They’ll appreciate the delivery method.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Then take three generous steps backward.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Bringing people together was never the mission.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Light Blue","offer_id":46161801707716,"sku":"28246194811030100340","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46209039466692,"sku":"44426501141245579167","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46209039499460,"sku":"15871155283767023560","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sage","offer_id":46209039532228,"sku":"32872342127477972409","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":46209039564996,"sku":"16050464340836456053","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Athletic Gray","offer_id":46209039597764,"sku":"14575581415956309654","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light 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