{"title":"For Gardeners \u0026 Plant Parents","description":"\u003cp\u003eSarcastic shirts for gardeners, farmers and plant parents hanging on by one leaf.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"growing-slowly-very-slowly","title":"Growing Slowly. Very Slowly. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrowing Slowly. Very Slowly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSome people bloom where they’re planted. You’re still reviewing the soil conditions and deciding whether this whole growth thing fits your schedule.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrowing Slowly. Very Slowly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a droopy plant in a yellow pot, bold yellow-and-blue lettering, and a little tag reading \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“DON’T WATER ME YET.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Even the houseplant would appreciate everyone backing off with the personal development.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for plant lovers, professional procrastinators, and anyone whose five-year plan recently requested a five-year extension. You’re making progress. It’s just happening at a speed that requires before-and-after photos taken by different generations.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to garden-center trips, lazy weekends, or family gatherings where someone asks what you’re doing with your life while you’re clearly busy getting more potatoes. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend who bought a motivational journal and is waiting for the right emotional climate to open it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Have you tried stepping outside your comfort zone?” I’m barely established in this pot. Let’s not introduce relocation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe leaves are drooping. The ambition is dormant. And someone keeps suggesting more sunlight, as though the missing ingredient in your life is being warmer while overwhelmed. Please respect the process. There may be a new leaf by Thursday. We haven’t committed to which Thursday.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Personal growth can wait. Getting dressed is enough development for one afternoon.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Still rooted. Barely flourishing. Please stop checking.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":46106432569540,"sku":"26079542395263390630","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":46227826999492,"sku":"14818939717812008394","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Forest","offer_id":46227827032260,"sku":"26810808033158314278","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":46227827065028,"sku":"21680773300712182164","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46227827097796,"sku":"94579245228231156679","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Team Navy","offer_id":46227827130564,"sku":"17372882645139952923","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ 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Navy","offer_id":46227828310212,"sku":"13679525226013122424","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":46227828342980,"sku":"15083108218287945987","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":46227828375748,"sku":"26999885557464618091","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Forest","offer_id":46227828408516,"sku":"67087215184452572371","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46227828441284,"sku":"18147031965569231298","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Team Purple","offer_id":46227828474052,"sku":"13745274799513450725","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Team Navy","offer_id":46227828506820,"sku":"31242493987072035761","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":46227828539588,"sku":"17184195037370139663","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Navy","offer_id":46227828572356,"sku":"29855812280441288490","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupGrowingSlowly.VerySlowly.Black.png?v=1789657627"},{"product_id":"farm-for-peace-not-profit","title":"Farm for Peace Not Profit T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFarm for Peace Not Profit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCould I buy these carrots for two dollars? Yes. Could I spend an entire season and an alarming amount of money growing them myself? Also yes. Please stop interrupting my peace with accounting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFarm for Peace Not Profit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a retro oval badge with pixel-style carrots, garden tools, a watering can, and golden wheat. Cream lettering delivers the official business plan: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I FARM FOR PEACE. NOT PROFIT.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Finally, an agricultural operation where the only thing expected to grow is your distance from other people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for gardeners, hobby farmers, cozy farming-game fans, and anyone who would rather spend an afternoon addressing soil problems than answering “Got a quick minute?” Your crops require attention, but at least they don’t schedule meetings to discuss how you water them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to garden days, farmers-market trips, or lazy weekends spent managing a tiny agricultural empire with absolutely no intention of consulting a spreadsheet. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose tomatoes cost roughly seventeen dollars each once you factor in their “little setup.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“What’s your return on investment?” Three carrots and forty-five minutes without anyone talking to me. Exceptional quarter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe watering can is full. The expectations are low. And the harvest might feed one moderately hungry rabbit, who has already helped himself without contributing a damn thing toward expenses.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Every peaceful farming operation needs a uniform and a deeply unprofitable mission statement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Growing vegetables. Shrinking availability.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. They are also Platinum WRAP certified and part of the Fair Labor Association.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGeneral Product Safety Regulation (GPSR) Required in the EU\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWarnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCare instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not 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Just spectacular confidence in whatever ridiculous thing comes out next.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to garden-center runs, casual hangouts, or family gatherings where unsolicited opinions arrive earlier than the guests who volunteered to bring food. It also makes an excellent gift for that friend whose patience is seasonal but whose side-eye blooms year-round.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Can I give you some advice?” Amazing. Another weed that thinks it’s a flower.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe poppies are lovely. The daisies are delightful. The nerve of someone asking why you look tired while handing you more work? Truly flourishing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. You can’t weed out everyone, but you can dress appropriately for the infestation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Pretty flowers. Deeply rooted disbelief.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. 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Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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dryclean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Mint","offer_id":46141491708100,"sku":"67142754551362104616","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Natural","offer_id":46218417438916,"sku":"21581758925026660560","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Silver","offer_id":46218417471684,"sku":"31799810315774610241","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Soft Pink","offer_id":46218417504452,"sku":"60419801653821235109","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":46218417537220,"sku":"15087075214608320579","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Prism Blue","offer_id":46218417569988,"sku":"29555503312839270273","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ 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White","offer_id":46218418979012,"sku":"42394476790507730004","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupAudacity--GrowingEverywhereWhite.png?v=1788974355"},{"product_id":"death-defying-still-upright","title":"Death Defying -- Still Upright T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDeath Defying -- Still Upright\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThriving? Let’s not get carried away. There’s one leaf left, and we’re counting it as a full canopy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDeath Defying -- Still Upright\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a barely hanging-on branch with a single green leaf, surrounded by a twig wreath, golden accents, and proud green lettering. Finally, a botanical tribute to getting through the week without anyone asking too many questions about your condition.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for exhausted adults, stubborn optimists, plant parents, and anyone whose current definition of success is “hasn’t completely toppled over.” You may not be flourishing, but technically neither is that expensive houseplant everyone keeps complimenting from a distance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to coffee runs, reluctant errands, or family gatherings where someone asks if you’re taking care of yourself. Absolutely. There was a vegetable near my dinner, and I’ve considered going to bed earlier.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt also makes an excellent gift for that friend who keeps saying “I’m fine” with the structural confidence of a lawn chair missing a bolt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Is that thing still alive?” First of all, rude. Second, there’s a leaf. Please direct all further inquiries to the leaf.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’ve survived deadlines, bills, and sleeping slightly wrong on a pillow you specifically purchased to prevent that. At this point, remaining vertical deserves a commemorative wreath.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. You’re still standing, and frankly, the circumstances should be embarrassed they haven’t finished you off.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. One leaf. No surrender.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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Let’s not get carried away. Technically upright and still occupying the pot? Absolutely crushing it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook At Me Go\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a dramatically drooping cactus in a cheerful pink planter—the botanical equivalent of saying “Doing great!” while eating shredded cheese over the sink. The pot is motivational. The plant would like to speak to whoever approved that messaging.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for exhausted optimists, sarcastic plant parents, and anyone whose personal growth currently consists of answering one email and needing to sit down afterward. You’re making progress. The direction remains under investigation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to coffee runs, casual Fridays, or family gatherings where someone asks what you’ve been up to. Surviving, mostly. Occasionally rotating toward the light. Please respect the process.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt also makes an excellent gift for that friend who keeps buying plants to improve their mental health, then develops an entirely new category of stress about the plants.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCacti are supposed to thrive on neglect. This one has apparently exceeded the recommended dosage. Still, the planter says “Look At Me Go,” and we admire a household committed to maintaining its story.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. You don’t have to be flourishing to deserve a little applause.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Still here. Slightly wilted. Taking full credit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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Gray","offer_id":46212020175044,"sku":"12051810222753071255","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":46212020207812,"sku":"19001170178079627708","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0723\/3752\/2884\/files\/WinningMockupLookAtMeGoWhite.png?v=1789752745"},{"product_id":"thriving-kinda","title":"Thriving...Kinda T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThriving...Kinda\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePlease don’t confuse my continued existence with having things under control.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThriving...Kinda\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tee features a drooping houseplant in a geometric pot, proudly sporting a 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Water? Yes. Sunlight? Probably. A week without someone asking for something? Now we’re getting somewhere.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for exhausted optimists, questionable plant parents, and anyone whose personal growth currently involves moving from the bed to the couch. You’re still here. You’ve got a few functional leaves. Let’s stop demanding a bloom.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it to the garden center to establish your qualifications, to brunch with your suspiciously well-rested friends, or while buying another plant because apparently the first six needed a supervisor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt also makes an excellent gift for that friend who says “I’m doing great!” with the posture of an abandoned salad.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to cart. Your life might need repotting, but your wardrobe can still pull itself together.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSnarkySarks. Still rooted. Barely coping.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003e\"You Actually Look Good\" Fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be outwardly cynical, but we secretly care about your comfort. These classic unisex jersey short sleeve tees fit like a well-loved favorite. Crafted from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (specifically the Bella Canvas 3001), the fabric is incredibly lightweight at 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²), remarkably breathable, and easy to layer. It’s perfect for both active wear and aggressively participating in leisure wear. If you want to get technical about our fabric blends:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAsh and Heather Prism colors: 99% cotton, 1% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAthletic Heather and Black Heather: 90% cotton, 10% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eHeather and Solid Blend colors: 52% cotton, 48% polyester.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eEngineered to Survive Your Apathy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe built these to last through all your introverted hobbies and anti-hustle weekends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eShape Retention: The ribbed knit collar features a seam to make it highly elastic and help it retain its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eStructural Support: Dual side seams are located along the sides to hold the garment's shape longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eAnti-Stretch Tech: Twill shoulder tape covers the shoulder seams to stabilize the back of the garment and prevent stretching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eFlattering Cut: The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eVersatile Style: The retail fit and neat crew neckline make it perfect for casual settings, semi-formal obligations, or effortless accessorizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrints that Do the Talking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eOur soft cotton and exceptional print quality ensure you'll fall in love with these shirts over and over again. To make sure your sarcasm is highly legible, sleeve prints and neck labels are produced using Direct-to-Film (DTF) printing technology. This applies to products fulfilled by print providers like OPT OnDemand and Shirt Monkey, ensuring crisp, detailed designs. Alternatively, providers like TextilDruck and Stoked on Printing use Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing for their labels to deliver vibrant colors and a smooth finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurprisingly Ethical\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWe might be annoyed by most people, but we don't hate the planet or the workers making our clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSourcing: The blank products themselves are sourced from Honduras.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eResponsible Production: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in a humane, sustainable, no-sweat-shop way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eCertifications: They are REACH certified for responsibly manufactured, humane, and sustainable practices. 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